Shattered illusion

 I'm addicted to the way you speak

How you arrange your words to mean
One thing while reads another
I love the way you make me feel
When you ask about my day and
I vent about one thing or another
I feel like a part of your world
With the stories you tell
And anecdotes you shared
I painted a picture that I liked
And I stop to admire it ever so often
I felt butterflies in my stomach
When my phone buzz with a message from you
I felt my blood heating
Desire coursing through my veins
During my late night conversations with you
But one day I woke up and
That illusion is shattered
The reality was far more twisted
There was no place for me by your side
The throne you promised me already has a queen
And I was just a passing fling

Fragile Masculinity

 Like a skilled fisherman 

you baited me in

With your honeyed words

and carefully spun web of lies

You got me dancing to your tune

Like a cobra to its charmer's flute

You wrapped me around your finger 

And tugged me around

Like a puppet, slave to your whims,

You got me jumping through hoops

Tip toeing around your moods

Afraid to crack the thin ice

That is your fragile masculinity 

No longer am I hypnotised 

Not shackled with fear

I gifted myself a pair of wings

Ready to soar free

From an illusion carefully crafted

The YOU that never existed

Just a boy

 Darling won't you embrace me

Pull me off this darkness
Drown my pain
Erase my loneliness,
Kiss my wounds
and make it hurt
Can you get me high with no liquor?
Save me from my demons
And dangle me off a mountain
You thrill me,
make my blood boil with passion
Can't stop kissing you one night
Hate your guts the other
How do I balance this alternate realities?
Calling me your baby under the stars
Forgeting my name in the morning
Tracing your lips on my neck while
Planning your next conquest
When you smile and look me in the eyes
I see the wall crumble and
Darling, you are just a boy

Regret

 Let me mourn what it was

And what it would never be
Say goodbye to what could have been
Let go of what you were to me

Give me a second
To process and forget
How close we were
And how you discarded me

I need a second before
I could move on
Treat you like how you treated me
Like tiny stones in your shoes
Like dirt on your jacket
Insignificant and bothersome

Let me take a second
Before I could compose myself
And come back a better me
The one you never could have hurt
Cause saw your bullshit from the very beginning

Soul Flame

 I study every love songs

To find the meaning
Of what I feel for you
But no words have come close
To describe how much I want you
I will wait patiently
Till you realise I am right here
My soul is made for you
And it burns only in your presence

I close my eyes and I dream of you
I notice all the sweet things you do
And honestly, even if its not me
I know you will make someone very happy
I wish its me, but I would die just
To keep your smile from wavering...

Oh, how I long to cross the line
Trace your intoxicating lips with mine
When it slowly curve into a smile
I catch myself secretly hoping you are mine

I learn the lyrics of every love songs
To put what I feel for you into words
But nothing has ever came close
To describe this unwavering longingness

My soul burns for your touch
Your name a mantra in my head
My love, patiently I will wait
For the day you recognise my heart

And even if it wasn't me you end up with
I just want you to know what unconditional love is
Because I would cut open my vein just to see your smile again
I would commit unforgiveable sins just to hold you close to me.

Mistake

 You are the mistake

I keep making again and again

When you call my name
I don't know what takes hold of me
I crave your taste
Just with a touch
You ignite the flame in me
I hate you but
I love you
I miss feeling you inside of me
You are the mistake
I wish I didnt make
Coz now
I dont know
How to erase you from my body
You left a mark unintentionally
Broke my heart when
Your eyes drifted pass me
To your next conquest
You flirt shamelessly
Left me longing
For your attention
One last time
I want your body
On top of me